I failed the novel challenge for many reasons, the biggest one being: NaNoWriMo is at the end of the school year, and a bunch of other stuff happened too. Plus I write super slowly and um, I guess I didn't really like the book, it was kindof derivative and-
Ok. I suppose I have a lot of excuses as to why I didn't finish or why I stopped after barely even a week. But over my life, I've noticed this as a recurring problem. I will start a project, get kind of into it, then stop just as soon as I start. With a new shining cityscape looming in the field of my vision as I get a new, better idea.
To be fair, I did get quite bogged down with schoolwork. And apparently, when I have no story and come up with one on the spot, I just rewrite one of my favorite novels with a worse coat of paint. How did I not notice the whole “having a building that feeds off one or more persons mental state”, and “having at least two authors, where one comments on the others work”, as being exactly the same idea as HOL? Plus most of the book was a single character just existing, alone. And when they weren't alone, any other characters they interacted with were just random people. That would be fine if the environment was cool, but I had to keep it maddingly boring for lore reasons. Overall it just was not an interesting book in my opinion.
But like I said, I don't consider this a complete failure. If there's one thing about making something bad, it’s that once you find out what made it bad, you can avoid that in the future. Plus even with a failed project, you probably won't just learn what not to do. I learned that my style of writing leans far more toward short stories and novellas. I also learned my favorite way of writing a book.
I will on-the-spot call it the patchwork method. It's a mix between what I did, and what a random YouTube commenter said they did. Basically, you just write segments of the story, they don't even have to be consistent or in order or anything really. But over time you get a really good idea of the characters, plot points, and arcs. Eventually, you'll have enough ideas and story segments to stitch together a full story, removing the ones you don't like, and adding ones that help the story along.
This whole failure thing is not a new experience. I've been starting ideas and projects, then not even getting close to completing them my entire life. In fact, I'm not sure I can name one long-term project that I’ve actually completed, because the only projects I've ever completed have only taken a week max. I am constantly having new ideas that I just have to entertain for a little while, even if it's just spending all day at work coming up with the plot, mechanics, and style of a video game. Not only is constantly having new ideas a big problem, but also I've recently realized that I make art as a coping mechanism, getting immersed in the process of making art is what I enjoy. But that also means that I couldn't care less if it actually gets finished, or if anyone else sees it, and so I barely ever finish anything. The moment a project gets boring, it stops being a place I can escape to, and with my short-term ADHD brain, I don't care about finishing it and showing it to people Later, because I only care about what's happening now.
I find the concept of evolution quite fascinating, and not just in the way that life changes over time. Evolution is an amazing metaphor for a whole lot of things. Whether it be the trial and error of learning the best strategy for playing a game, or the trial and error of learning who you are, or even the trial and error of making art. Sometimes I like to believe that after failing and learning so many times, eventually, one day, I will complete a project. Maybe the only project I ever complete will be the final idea I have before I die, maybe not. Maybe one day I will be able to harness my ADHD instead of being hindered by it. My methods of storytelling will always be evolving and changing, until I eventually learn the best strategy and succeed, hopefully.
The Centennial Inn is dead. Or at least dead for now. I do like rolling ideas around in my head for ages, even after being declared dead. Maybe I can iron out all the bad stuff, I mean, I do really like how it ends. Or I could just do what I’ve always done. Take what I learned, and use it the next time I need to escape.
Making art is difficult, and I've only learned how to do the fun part. But making and especially finishing art takes a whole lot of work. But working is hard.
Every time I get a bit into a project I find myself at a crossroads: do I work through sluggish times that I might not fully enjoy for the love of the final product, or do I choose to continue my escapism in a new project that I can fully enjoy.
Cough cough “road less traveled” cough cough